Sunday, 16 March 2014

What is wrong with me?

The title is pretty self-explanatory. As you can guess I am in the latter part of those stages a girl goes through in regards to boys: where you’re torn between acting like a bad ass diva who don’t need no man and being a whiny teenage girl wondering why nobody is obsessing over you like in the Hollywood movies. I guess all of the boys around me have realised I am certifiably insane and are currently running for the hills. however, despite the fact that I am 16 and have never had any sort of romantic encounter with anyone (people even ran away from me in kiss chase at aged 7), I'm feeling pretty optimistic about the whole being a single pringle thing. Until I see a cute couple and I have to restrain myself from throwing my shoe at them (some things never change). I mean, I'm 16 for goodness sake, the world is my oyster and all that jazz, and right now, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want…how exciting is that??!! (note – I can’t actually do whatever I want. School/coursework/lack of money/parental controls are still restraining factors in my life atm). However my excitement is quickly diminished when I go into school and are hammered with the mantra “everything you do now is going to affect your future” (which, of course I'm supposed to know). I thought it was just teachers at sixth form who had this idea, until I realise everyone seems to have this idea that I should actually already have figured out what I'm going to be doing with my life, which degree to choose, have numerous hobbies, a job, an active social life, a healthy relationship, a fitness regime/healthy eating plan and have a 10 year plan for my life complete with a chart stuck on my wall, which will obviously aid me with achieving a perfect balance of all of these things. The number of times I have been asked “so what do you want to do with your life” is definitely nearing on the triple digits mark, my initial responses to “what do you want to be in 10 years’ time” are no longer acceptable (in case you were wondering, my personal favourites were “beyoncĂ©”, “the queen” and “happy” – so basically just beyoncĂ©) to me, it feels like it’s almost unheard of for someone to really not have a clue what they are doing or want to do in the future and it’s true, I've been asked what my life plan is in at least one class every year since primary school, with the numbers increasing like my to do list which is gathering dust beside me. I can’t be the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous (the whole knowing-what-you’re-going-to-do-thing, not the abandoned list of jobs to do – I know I'm silly for doing that, but I'm clearing my head so shush). I mean, I definitely cannot decide right now where I want to be in 50 years. I need to make some mistakes, try different jobs, travel on a whim and generally bob around and not give a damn about the details. So I'm putting my foot down, and as shocking as it seems I'm perfectly happy not knowing where I'm going at the moment, because I don’t want to waste my time now worrying about something that may not happen in the future, or as my grandma would say “don’t put your eggs all in one basket” (I think this is an appropriate example of a time to say this…I never quite understood the quote). Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent, although it does sort of link. Is it a crime to not be with someone? Where has this desperate need to be tied to someone come from? So no, it doesn't matter if you’re still deciding between becoming a yoga teacher or an astronaut because there is a huge world outside of the little bubble we live in and it is our job to go and explore it. Find someone along the way to share these amazing experiences with, take lots of pictures, find yourself, and find what you love to do – and go and do it.

Pringles are always spooning anyway.

Sorry for going off on a bit of a whim, I wrote this post in about ten minutes just trying to clear my head and vent my ramblings.
Thank you for reading, and sorry for burdening you with my emotions and teenage whining.

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