Thursday, 24 April 2014

So, University? Umm…I don’t um… question please?

The future. It’s a daunting thing.

I went to a university conference yesterday. I’m still clueless about what I want to do.

I might go and live in an igloo with my laptop, wifi, and youtube. Who wouldn’t want to sit in in igloo and listen to the likes of Ben Howard all day long?

I’m so fed up of being expected to know what I want to do.

I find it kind of stupid that I still have to put up my hand to ask if I can go to the toilet and yet I’m supposed to know what single job I want for the rest of my life.

I don’t know if I’ve said before, but I go to a grammar school. An all-girls grammar school which is very academic and you can’t help but sort of feel like you’re expected to go to Uni. I feel like I’m expected to go to Uni.

But do I really want to?

I don’t know.

I mean, I would love the experience and the opportunity to make amazing new friends, and be able to say I have a degree. I find it a scary thought that in a year and a half all of my friends are going to be scattered across the country. It makes me incredibly sad and I don’t want to miss out on that. But, do I really want to get in around £50K of debt just so I can make friends and experience ‘uni life’?


Charles Kennedy (Scottish MP) says something that I agree with fully: “I believe that access to a university education should be based on the ability to learn, not what people can afford” the cost of university shouldn’t be so bad that people like me are put off and are considering changing their career goals to avoid spending that amount of money.

And what do you get for nine thousand pounds a year? A certificate saying you’ve spent the last three or four years in further education, sitting more exams, and probably going nightclubbing every weekend (another worry – I am such a lightweight, I don’t think I could cope with uni nightlife).

I don’t want to go to university just for the sake of it. If I decide that I want a career that requires the training and degree, then of course, I will go there.

But I don’t know what I want to do at uni.

The only subjects that I really like from my A Levels are Psychology and Drama and Theatre Studies. So I mean, I will probably do psychology at uni if I go. But where will that lead me?

I don’t want to be in some dead-end job for the rest of my life.

And, do I want to deal with another four years of super-stress, exams and revision?

I love acting. I love the feeling of being someone else. Of being able to just forget all of your problems and take the audience on a journey with someone they've never met before. Am I going to be an actress?

It would be my dream job.

I don’t know.

the sloth felt appropriate and necessary.
I would love it but I don’t think my school (or my parents) would appreciate these sort of career goals. I don’t really have the confidence to go round telling people that I want to play-act for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I’m sorry, this post is sort of me writing down all of my thoughts, if it’s confusing: welcome to my brain :D

I’m going to end this post with a nice lil’ quote. After all, what would a blog post in which I panic about my future be without some sort of philosophical saying? Exactly. I knew you were wanting an inspirational motto. Don’t tell me I don’t spoil you.

When you are unsure about the future, keep doing what is in front of you with all your heart and with love, and what is meant for you will find you.
― Guru Mayi Chidvilasananda

So yeah, my exams finish at the end of May (eek!), and after that I’m going to post a lot more (I promise!)

What you’ve learnt from this post:

So…to university or not to university? That is truly thine question.

Umm…yeah, I’ll get back to you on that one when I’ve decided .

(Probably never)

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, and sorry that I don’t make any sense. I’m going to go and over indulge with easter eggs whilst I cry over prospectuses and my general lack of direction in my future :)

So, how about you? Do you know what you want to do in the future? Do you have any thoughts on university?


P.S. Do you like my new blog design? I loves it :D Please let me know what you feel/think.
Ngl, I'm pretty damn happy ;)
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